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BREAKING: Former President Barack Obama Implicated in Illegal Hoops & Yoyo E-Card Scandal

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  In a shocking turn of events, former U.S. President Barack Obama has been hilariously (and perhaps unjustly) linked to an underground network of unlicensed Hoops & Yoyo e-cards, reportedly distributed through a secret backchannel of early 2000s fan forums and suspiciously pink USB drives. The scandal, dubbed “Card-Gate,” began when a retired Hallmark intern leaked a 45-second animated e-card featuring Hoops shouting “Happy Birthday, Barack!” while Yoyo did the worm across a flaming Constitution. Investigators claim the card was not approved by Hallmark, and even worse—it featured bootleg voice acting recorded in what experts are calling “a suspiciously echoey Chicago basement.” In 2007, Obama allegedly receives a “Happy Tuesday” e-card featuring Hoops & Yoyo yelling about muffins. In 2011, during a routine email leak, a message titled “🎉 U R GR8 – from da BUNNEEZ 🐰” was found in Obama's inbox, raising alarms in the highest levels of the NSA. In 2023, authorities discove...

Obama Rap Trophy: A First for a President

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   In an unexpected twist to his post-presidential career, Barack Obama has been awarded a prestigious trophy for becoming the first U.S. president to rap outside the White House. The honor was bestowed upon him during a surprise appearance at a community event in Washington, D.C., where Obama spontaneously took the stage and delivered an impromptu rap performance. The event, organized by local youth leaders, aimed to promote civic engagement and artistic expression among young people. Obama, known for his deep appreciation of hip-hop culture, joined the festivities and, much to the crowd's delight, showcased his lyrical skills. "I've always believed in the power of music to bring people together," Obama remarked after his performance. "Today, I wanted to show that even a president can drop a beat and connect with the next generation." The trophy, a custom-designed golden microphone, was presented to Obama by the event organizers in recognition of his unique...

RuPaul Drops Surprise Track “Paparazzi” from Secret Compilation “The School of WeirdOfTheWierd”

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   Just when you thought RuPaul couldn’t slay any harder, the queen of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent has thrown fans a dazzling curveball. In a surprise announcement late last night on his MySpace blog (yes, queens still use it), RuPaul revealed the existence of a previously unreleased bonus track titled Paparazzi — and it's already got the drag world buzzing louder than a backstage wig reveal. The song, which was allegedly recorded during the sessions for Champion , didn’t make the final album cut but has now been released exclusively as part of a bizarre and brilliant underground digital compilation known as The School of WeirdOfTheWierd . Described by insiders as a “genre-exploding glam-electro manifesto,” the compilation features experimental and outsider music from a variety of artists — but it’s Ru’s contribution that’s stealing the spotlight. With pulsating synths, tongue-in-cheek lyrics about fashion, cameras, and beauty, Paparazzi delivers peak Drag Race en...